sailing

I was in physics extra class. We were all learning about Force and Pressure. Cikgu Ajwad was teaching Bernoulli principle which states ... oh man you can go search on Google by yourself. I am not really fond of physics so- ;-;

'Has anyone ever went sailing?'

A memory hit me. Because I had have before, but it was a very very long time ago. Since Aryssa was sitting beside me in the class and was showing an interest of sailing, then I told her I had went sailing when I was 8, or maybe 10. I guess she's the first friend in the high school to know that I had 'sailed'.

It was not a good memory though. My primary school used to have a student to represent Johor on a national perahu layar tournament. I assume they want to find a history repeater, so they hunted for students from the first rank class, which is class of mine. I remember, it was only Lisa and I that were appointed to join the sailing training, located near the JB port. The school administration could have thought that choosing us is the best decision since Lisa and I did quite well for our academics, so having an extracurricular activities won't affect much our studies, they think.

Yes I went to the training, alone. I couldn't remember why Lisa had not joined me, but she got her own excuses. I certainly remember that I was alone because I remember I was crying during the training. I met few friends apparently, but they're all had a glimpse of sailing experience, had an idea what the coach was teaching, unlike me. Zero knowledge.

How can I not be insecure at the moment. Plus, they were all older than me even by one or two year gap. Only one that was the same age as me, but she attended the training irregularly. Everytime she's present, I will always get along near to her. I was told by her that her brother or her sister (I couldn't remember) was a trainee there too. (Most probably representing Johor already) No wonder she's skillful too. The traits run in the blood, I guess. I witnessed her sailing by her own on the water. Without any adults on the sailboat. Coaches stood near the jetty. I also witnessed her yacht went upside down. Yes, exactly the mast (that enormous sailcloth flag) is soaked into the water (but don't worry it's waterproof) and the boat is floating invertedly. But she managed to turn the sailboat back to its normal state. Without getting drowned. I could never relate. If I was ever in her place, I might not live today.

I stopped going training because due to overwhelm insecurity I endured and I legit cried on the training centre because I surrounded by people I am not familiar. (Although they treated me nice, me as a timid kid with terrible social skills back then, anxiety can attack anytime you know). Thank you Cikgu Rafidah and Cikgu Balvinder for sending me to the training centre with one hour of jouney, sometimes treating me with foods, and wiping up my tears.

I could have been representing the school in sailing if only I get proper practice under certain circumstances I set up. LOL. Until now, never have I ever represent the school in any sports tournament. Such humiliating.

Bye. Don't tell others, okay?