courage

I wish I have the courage to speak on public.

Deep in my heart I have many things to express on and I had always wanted to raise up my hand, then speak out my opinions if chances given.

But there is one thing stopping me from doing it.

My thoughts.

"Should I talk about this?"
"Are my points valid and strong enough?"
"They do not need to listen me, I'm wasting their time. I might drag the slot"
.... and so many to be listed that I am too lazy to jot down.

I do envy with my friends who have represented the school, participating competitions, doing presentation and so on. Especially those who joined like public speaking, storytelling, and else since primary. How come they have such confidence? ;-; (Now should I blame my former teacher for not choosing me to be the school representative for public speaking? Nope, I shouldn't)

I realise and am very conscious when I speak (no matter casually or formally), I tend to stutter, agagagaga. And also tend to speak too quick, mispronounce words and bla bla bla. Most of time when I was the storyteller, I lost tracks where did I tell and where did I stop my story, and often I tell stories and forgot to insert the important incident. Then I have to tell my friends, "Oops sorry guys, I forgot the highlight. Actually, before I went there, I ... *telling the main point /climax of the story* ... "

I wanted to speak, but I think I was not born to speak. (Yet I'm one of the loudest girl in class oh em gee).

So here's my blog, dedicated for covering up my flaws.

I still look forward on participating any competition that requires speech-giving. Any tips for me? Would very glad to hear.

I should consider Eli's offer on enrolling Toastmaster Club.

I have presentation tomorrow. Wush me lick.

vulnerable

Friends also can break your heart too.

Now I am scared and have no one to tell.

Frankly, I do have someone to tell but I am worried it would be burdening and I have trust issues at the moment.

Thank you for reading my first post of the year.